Warning—emotion dump ahead.
Tough night last night. I came back to my hometown for a job about 3 months ago. I love this city, but most of my friends have moved away. At work, there are three of us who are single, and we've hung out together several times; me another guy, and a girl. I really liked the girl, we spent a lot of time together and had a lot of fun, and a lot in common. I thought it was going somewhere, then she pulled back and told me she "wasn't ready for anything like that." I've become ok with that—it wasn't meant to be and that sucks, but that's how it is. I don't think of her like that anymore. We're still friends, and we still talk, but not as much, and there's more awkward silences now.
A couple weeks later, she gets tickets to a big tennis tournament in town, and excitedly tells me about it, without mentioning who she's taking. I see on the other single guy's facebook that night that he was at the tennis tournament and think, "OK, he had mentioned that he wanted to go, and I had a meeting to go to, it's only natural that she took him." The next day, she shows me pictures of the tennis match and tells me what a great time she had, once again without mentioning who she took. I ask her in a friendly way if she took her sister, and she says "Ummmmm..." (same way she said it before she told me she wasn't ready for a relationship) and changes the subject.
In the past couple weeks, the three of us have several conversations about how it's only the three of us that are single, and although we invite everyone else to go with us, it always winds up just being the three of us, and that we're just going to have to get used to it for the next three years.
Yesterday, we invited everyone to go to a local amusement park, and then come back to the other guy's apartment for a party at which we would find an alcoholic drink that this girl could actually stand. A girl from the residency class above us comes with to the amusement park (we tell her that she's auditioning for our singles club), and we all have a great time, but she has to leave once we get back to the other guy's place.
Once we go back, we go to dinner, then try the drinks. They're both really nice to me, but I can hear that they lower their voices when I'm in the kitchen. We play a game, then sit and talk for a while. It becomes obvious throughout the night that they're making inside jokes and continuing conversations I wasn't a part of. He makes several references to dating in general, and to her attractiveness, and for the last hour, they were conversing intently, and I was listening and occasionally interjecting. We were all getting tired, and when I left, she stayed and he locked the door behind me.
I'm ok if there's something going on between them (a little jealous, but ok). It just sucks to be a third wheel, especially when I feel like they're trying to hide it from me, constantly talking about the three of us when I think it's really becoming the two of them and me. I appreciate that they may be trying not to hurt my feelings and to include me, but I feel hurt that they don't feel comfortable enough to be open in front of me. Now I wonder who I'm going to hang out with if this continues (the relationship, vis a vis not being the third wheel, and the deception, vis a vis not feeling hurt.) I feel like a 14 year old high school student, nota 26 year old physician.
I don't know if I'm just being paranoid, or if I should say something, or what I should do. Picture related.
Wow, that's long! Sorry!